The Nicest Guy in the World

I want to tell everybody about this guy I know.  His name is Syed, and he's the Physical Therapist that came to my house when I first got out of the hospital.

The nicest guy in the world with Buddha Bear

Syed is one of the most interesting people I've ever met.  He's from Malaysia, and has a passion for cars.  Especially Mercedes.  He's almost 50 years old and doesn't look a day over 35.  He enjoys jazz music, and wishes he could live in a hut on the beach somewhere.

My insurance company paid for Syed to come help me work out 8 or 10 times after I was released, and he did a great job.  But then, they stopped paying him.  And Syed kept coming.  Now he only has time to come on the weekend, but he does it on his own time.  He comes most Sundays and helps for half an hour.  I don't pay him at all.

He also calls me a couple times a week to remind me to work out.  That's hugely helpful for me.  I respond well to peer pressure, and if it wasn't for that pressure, I probably wouldn't work out as much as I do.  And I really do think I've been getting stronger in the arms and shoulders.  I also think I may be getting a tiny bit of abdominal function back, but that's another story.

Anyway, this post is about Syed.  If you're worried that there aren't good people left in this world, think again.

Work In Progress

This week has been a blur.  I started working 3 hours a day on Tuesday, and it has been... interesting.

The first day was extremely hard for me physically.  I wasn't feeling very flexible that day, and it just hurt physically to sit in the chair that long.  The second day was better.  I felt better, and it didn't hurt so much to sit for that long.  The third day was moderately painful, but I worked more hours so I wouldn't have to work so much on Friday.

Overall, I'll call it a success, but it's a tough call.  The first assignment they've given me is to add a feature to a program I wrote a long time ago.  Programming requires you to have have a complicated procedure straight in your brain in order to make progress.  Every time I take a break, it takes me an hour or so to get started again.  When you only work 3 hours a day with a break in the middle, it makes it tough to get anything done.

So I've found that it's hard to make it to 3 hours because of physical pain, but it's hard to stop at 3 hours because I only just started making progress.  It'll be interesting to see how that plays out.

I can already say that I hate working on my laptop from home.  At work, I have a fast desktop with 2 monitors so I can see a lot at once.  Working on the laptop is like working through a periscope.  I feel like I can barely see anything, and everything is on a time delay because the laptop is so slow.  I don't know what I can do about it though.

It's also challenging to try to fit my work into my schedule.  I feel like I don't do that much in a given day, but because everything takes so long, I barely have time for everything I need to do.  I have to get up, eat breakfast, get cleaned up, rest on the couch, work, eat lunch, entertain a lunch guest, possibly shower or take a trip to the store, rest, work some more, do the program, hopefully entertain a dinner guest, sleep.  I also have to consider doing laundry, dishes, or some cleaning in there.  All of it takes time, and there's only so much in the day.  I'm still trying to figure it out.

It does feel good to be back helping out at work though.  I just hope I can be productive and actually do some good.

Normal

On Saturday night, Mike and Sue took me out in my van to a Carolina Railhawks soccer game.  They had told me in the hospital that they wanted to take me, and now that I've got my van, it's physically possible.  When they invited me, I was concerned about having the stamina to sit through the whole game, but I decided I wanted to give it a try.

Sue and I watching grown men kick a ball around

The game worked out marvelously, and I had a great time.  I got to have a beer and some peanuts, and then a couple hot dogs.  The van worked perfectly, as it has since I got it, so the soccer game was a complete success.

After soccer, we went back to my place and sat on the deck and drank bourbon.  As much as I enjoyed the soccer, I REALLY enjoyed sitting around drinking.

Mmm... bourbon...

In the last couple weeks, I have had three opportunities to sit on the deck with somebody and just drink and talk, and I have realized something.  That is the only activity besides sleeping where I feel completely normal.

My brain didn't get injured in the crash, and I still feel like the same person I was before the accident except I'm trapped in a body that doesn't work.  Every waking minute of my life now is occupied with thinking about how to solve the suddenly complicated problems of everyday life.  The only time I'm not at all thinking about my broken body is when I'm asleep or when I'm having a few drinks and talking with my friends.  It's the only time I really feel normal and completely forget about my problems for a little while.

So I want to thank those of you who have spent time doing that with me.  It means more to me than you may realize.

Offer Accepted

The most significant thing that happened last week was that, I accepted an offer on my house.  The house went on the market around August 7, and I had initially listed the house for $169,000.  Nancy, my real estate agent, had done some homework on what houses in my neighborhood have been selling for, and once you adjust for the fact that my house is smaller than any of those, it seemed like $158,000 was about what we should expect.  It was also true that all the houses we compared it against had set an initial asking price way too high, and then let the house sit on the market for 150+ days, slowly reducing their price.  I didn't want to do that, so I tried to set my asking price low for a quick sale.  I also made sure I undercut the asking price of the only other house of a similar size that is currently for sale in the neighborhood.

I got an offer the day after I listed it for $155,000 minus $3,000 in closing costs.  That felt like an insult, but I countered with $162,000 minus $3,000.  They rejected that, so I moved on.  On Wednesday the 15th, we got another offer.  This one was for $165,000 minus $3,000.  I didn't have to take much time to think about it.  I accepted, and now the inspections/negotiations can begin.

As long as they don't find too much wrong with it, I should be able to close in the middle of September.  My friends have done a great job fixing the place up, so hopefully there isn't much to find.  In any event, I am very pleased that it only spent a week on the market, and hopefully this particular chore will soon be over.

Employment

I spent a lot of time last week on the phone with the disability people and with my boss, and I have decided to start working part time from home.  I don't really want to, and I'm not at all sure that I'm ready, but it will extend my disability payments, and it will give me a reason to get up in the morning.  I should start working sometime this week.  I'll start out working 3 hours a day.  I hope I can do it.

Sorry

Sorry I haven't posted sooner.  I've mentioned to a couple people in the last few days that I really don't like writing about what I did today unless what I did is exceptional.  Listing off my daily routine isn't very interesting to me, and I don't feel like it will be interesting to any of my readers.  Except my mom.

It is also a fact that I have been spending a lot of time lately on the couch.  I like sitting on the couch because it doesn't hurt my butt like sitting in the wheelchair does.  On the couch, I can just relax, be comfortable, and sleep if I feel like it.  I love sitting on the couch.  I'd like to get a new couch.  I learned in rehab that a leather one is nice because it's easy to slide around on.  It needs to be a firm one though.  It can't be one of these soft overstuffed ones.  I don't know if I'd be able to get back off one of those, and sliding around is tough when you sink in.

I don't know where I get a couch like I want.  I looked on craigslist, but all the ones I saw were overstuffed.  I'm not sure how I feel about a used couch anyway.  Unfortunately, going to furniture stores is going to be a pretty big chore for me at this point.

Anyway, once I get on the couch for the evening, it's a lot of work to get back in the wheelchair, so I've been lazy, and haven't been posting to the blog, even when I've got something to write about.  But I do have some stuff to write about from this week just past, so I'll try to get it done this week.  Stay tuned.

Kids

Yesterday, my sister made the trek down from Danville to bring her kids down to see me for the first time since the accident.  I had been wanting to see them, and I figured I've had plenty of other kids in my apartment, so why not them?

They've both gotten a lot bigger since I saw them last, and Kelly is talking in almost complete sentences now.  He's also pronouncing the letter J so he says "Uncle Jace" now instead of "Uncle Dace".  I miss Uncle Dace.

He did specifically ask if I could do upside-down (which he no longer pronounces uppayidesdown), which you may recall was something I was dreading.  I had to bite my lip, but I got through it.  I'm still worried he's going to think I'm boring, but I can only do what I can do.

Georgia is also getting big.  She seems huge, but Jessica says she's only in the 75th percentile height-wise.  She's certainly got more personality than the last time I saw her, and I don't think she screamed once at my place so that's a huge improvement.

Gus and Uyen and Evelyn came over too, and we all went to the playground in my neighborhood.  That was pretty fun.  I learned that pushing a wheelchair in wet mulch is extremely hard work.  That's why I got Kelly to help push me on the way home.

Maybe I can hire him on full-time

Trying to get a group picture with small children is like herding cats

Here's the rest of the pictures from our visit.

I'm very glad they came to visit, but it was exhausting.  Small children always are, even if I'm related.  Tonight, Brian and Kelly made me dinner, and brought over Brayden and Ashton.   Dinner was delicious, but they kids were exhausting.  I need a nap to recover.  I honestly don't know how anyone survives parenting small children 24 hours a day.

Kids love Buddha Bear

Since moving into this apartment, I have spent more time with kids than I have since I was one myself.  It's a bit of an adjustment, but I'd rather have people bring over their kids than not come at all.  It's just something I'll have to get used to I guess.

I Had a Dream

When I was in rehab, I made a decision that I wasn't going to think about walking.  I was going to accept my situation, and concentrate on being the best paraplegic I could be.  I thought that hoping to walk again would be bad for me.  A lot has happened since then, but my strategy remains the same.

Unfortunately, there's a part of my brain that isn't on board with the plan.  The last two nights, I have had very vivid dreams where I could miraculously walk again.  It felt completely real, and the relief at getting my legs back was intoxicating.  When I woke up, reality set back in.  It was incredibly depressing.

I thought I had skipped over the mourning period for what I've lost, but maybe it's still coming.  I hope not, and I hope I don't have to dream about walking for the rest of my life.  I'm not sure I can take it.

When I was in rehab, somebody told me that when you start having dreams where you're in the wheelchair, that's when you've really arrived as a paraplegic.  I'm not really looking forward to those dreams either.  Maybe I can just not dream for the rest of my life...

House For Sale

Thanks to an incredible amount of work by my friends and family, my house finally went on the market this week.  I thought I'd share the pictures I have.

You can also check out the zillow listing.

Lemme know if you want to buy it.  :)

I miss living here

Back to work?

Today I had a call with my manager where we discussed the idea of trying to do a little bit of work.  I would work from home, and I think I'd start out at around 10 hours per week.  I have been told that I can work part time and maintain disability payments based on how many hours I don't work, so I need to figure out how that works in detail this week.

My I still don't know where I'm going to find time in my schedule to do the actual work, but I'm hopeful that will work itself out.  My team is understaffed so they can use my help, and I'd like to help out if I can.  I just hope I can figure out how to work it into my schedule.

Speaking of my schedule, I've been lucky to be very busy with visitors the last couple days.  Yesterday was Sunday, and Cullen and Gus stopped by for lunch after going to my house to finish up a few tasks before it goes on the market.  We had a nice, if brief visit.

A little later that afternoon, Justin showed up.

My buds

We had a really nice visit, and Justin helped me out with a few things I'd been wanting to get done.  Then we had pizza.  I love pizza.

Justin stayed until pretty late and watched some Olympics with me.  Later in the evening, Brian showed up and helped watch Olympics too.  It was a good evening.

Justin helping me watch women's beach volleyball

Today was another busy one.  Bert stopped by for lunch on his way up from Laurinburg to see somebody at IBM today.  He and Gus and Evelyn shared leftover pizza with me.

Mmm... pizza...

And tonight, David and Kristen brought me delicious meatloaf and brownies and kept me company for several hours.  I had a great time, and I even had my first bourbon and coke since the accident.  Mmm... bourbon...

I'm expecting every day this week to be just as busy as today, so it should be a very good week if so.  I'm looking forward to it.

Lucky

Sorry it's been so long since I've written.  Life is getting busier, and it's getting harder to find an hour a day to sit down and write.  I'm also not very proud of the posts where I just list the things I've done that day.  They just seem mundane to me, but the pithier posts take longer to plan and write, and I'm spending a lot less time on my back than I did in the hospital.  There, I had lots of time to just think.

A couple days ago, somebody told me I "deserved some luck", implying that I haven't had any.  I don't mind if people want to think that although I'm not looking for pity from anyone.  I still feel extremely lucky though.  The injury itself was unlucky, but everything that has happened since has been extremely fortunate.

I've talked about my friends a lot already, and everyone is probably tired of hearing about them already, but I could still not be more grateful to them for the support they've given me.  Even with the HO and no family in the area, I'm still able to live alone with no other assistance apart from my friends.  I can't imagine who else in my position could do that.

So I feel very lucky, and I feel it's important not to start thinking I "deserve" anything.  As soon as you start thinking you deserve something, there can be only two results: bitterness if you don't get it or lack of gratitude if you do.

Here's what else has been going on:

• Several dinner guests
• Kids in my apartment
• A trip downtown with Gus
• Several delicious lunches
• Drinks in my apartment with friends
• Some time on the couch

Watching the Olympics instead of blogging

Justin is coming over tomorrow for the afternoon/evening, so that should be fun.  Haven't seen him since the hospital, so I'm looking forward to that.

Vantastic

Yesterday was so busy I didn't have a chance to write about it, but I'm going to do so now.  It was a great day, devoted mostly to getting my van ready for the road.

Gus came over around 10:00, and we started by going to his mechanic to get the van inspected.  We put Evelyn's car seat in the back, and set off.  We picked up lunch on the way over and ate it in the van while they did the inspection.  I had a BBQ sandwich with mac & cheese and baked beans from Dixie Belle's.  It was pretty good.

Waiting for my lunch

After the inspection, we had to go to the DMV to get the van registered.  Evelyn passed out on the drive over.  Probably wore herself out asking "Why" questions.

Out cold

 
Considering that there's only one license place office for all of southern Wake County, the line was surprisingly short.  The notoriously surly DMV workers were also surprisingly friendly after Evelyn did a little tap dance for them.

Patience is still a virtue

The DMV went so quickly, we had time to go to Target for some grocery shopping.

Evelyn and me in the Men's section

In the evening, Titus and Brittany came down for Sushi, and I talked Titus into fixing the driver side power window.  Titus is really good at fixing power windows, so he agreed, and we took the van over to Gus's house to work on it.  One of my other friends decided to ride over with us.

Titus, Buddha, and me

Titus works his magic

I had a good time hanging out in Gus's garage and supervising.

Good job

I really enjoyed getting out of my apartment and going places yesterday.  It's just what I was hoping the van would do for me.  I got to go four different places and didn't have to do a single car transfer.  I still couldn't be more pleased with my purchase.

Now the van is road legal, and the window works.  The only thing left to do is put some new tires on it, but they are all holding air right now, so that can wait.