A Buddha Bear Morning

Hi Everybody,

It's Buddha Bear again.  Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been keeping very busy.  Today was especially busy.  Here's what my morning was like.

I started my day with a shower like anybody else

Then I headed downstairs

I like to relax a little in the park

Climbing a tree is hard work...

...but it's also good exercise

Practice makes perfect!

Later, I headed down to the lobby...

...to get perked up to face the day

Regrets

I met a guy here named Rob who works at the hospital and volunteers his time here in the rehab ward.  He's a para who has been in a wheelchair for over 20 years, and he's a great resource for learning what life is like in the chair.  I've had the chance to sit down and talk with him for a couple hours now, and I've learned a TON.

The rep from the company that is going to build my wheelchair is also a para, and his name is Todd.  Rob and Todd are both active, successful paras who are living very full lives from the chair.  One thing they both share in common is the attitude that life in the chair really isn't very different from walking life.  Right now, my attitude is that I'm ready to accept the limitations of the chair, but I genuinely hope that one day, I will feel the way they do: that the chair isn't that much of a limitation.

Rob says that the most important thing about living successfully in the chair is attempting the things you want to do.  If you never try pushing your chair a mile to the store, or climbing a muddy hill, or ascending a curb, you'll never accomplish those things.  I hope I eventually have the courage to try all the things I want to do in the chair, but thinking about that got me thinking about the fact that there are still some things I will simply never do again, and about how much I'm going to miss those things.

I don't think self-pity is very productive.  In fact, I think it's a waste of time, but I can't help how I feel, and ignoring it won't make it go away, so here's what I think I'm going to miss the most.

I'm really going to miss motorcycling.  Everybody that knows me knows that motorcycles are my life, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to most of you: it kills me that I'll never get to ride again.  When we were on the highway, coming back from the field trip yesterday, we got passed by a guy on a Ducati, and I couldn't take my eyes off him.  His motion was so fluid and effortless, and he just looked so free.  I remembered that feeling, and in that moment, I wanted to be him so badly I couldn't think about anything else.  It pulls actual tears to my eyes to think that I'll never get to do it again, but it's a fact, and crying about it won't change anything.

Pure joy

The thing I think I'm going to miss more than motorcycling is playing with my nephew.  I never thought I would be the kind of guy who cared about that sort of thing, but I'm finding that I am.  My favorite thing to do with him has always been to pick him up by his ankles and run around the house.  He calls it "Uppa-yidesdown", and he loves it.  His little sister loves it too now, and I'll never get to do it again.  That thought destroys me.  It would probably be better if I knew what I will be able to do with the kids, but I'm afraid that I'll be pretty limited for a while, and I'm afraid that the kids will grow up thinking I'm a boring cripple while I'm figuring it out.

Uppa-yidesdown

I guess the key will be to take Rob's advice, and try something.  Then I just gotta come up with something fun I want to do.  Wheelchair rides might be fun enough...

Visitations

I was very worried that I was going to be bored today, but I needn't have worried.  I had a ton of visitors today, and they all brought food.  Unfortunately, I didn't remember to take hardly any pictures, but I'll relate the festivities for the benefit of those of you who care about the minutia of my daily life here.

Ben showed up around noon bearing Firehouse Subs.  BBQ Brisket specifically.  Mmmmm...

The only picture I took today

Ben stayed until around 4:00, and helped me with some upcoming pictures for the blog.  Bert and Ashley brought Simon by for a little while around 3:00, and brought me a piece of cake from Simon's birthday party.

Then at 5:00, TC and Wendy showed up.  They brought me Taco Bell, but they didn't tell me they were bringing Jimmy Johns for themselves.  That led to calling the Jimmy Johns on Franklin Street to see if they deliver to the hospital.  They do.  So now I have THAT piece of information...

TC and Wendy were still here at 8:00 when Gus and Uyen showed up with ice cream from Maple View Farm in Hillsborough.  Supposedly it was voted one of the top 10 ice cream places in the country, and I had never heard of them.  I have now, and I can't disagree with that ranking.  That stuff is goooooood.  They go so far as to raise their own cows.  Check it out.

Anyway, Gus and Uyen and TC and Wendy all stayed until almost 10:00 when I got in bed and started writing this blog entry.

So that was my day.  I hope yours was as good as mine.  I heard Buddha Bear had a pretty good day too, but I'll let him tell you about that later.

Haircut

It has been another really good day here at UNC's rehab center.  Today I had lots of guests, and I got what may be the most effective haircut I have ever received.

Titus and Brittany showed up around noon with Joe, who brought me a gyro and a cupcake from Franklin Street.  If you are taking notes, this is another great way to make me happy to see you.

The way to my heart is definitely through my stomach

This cupcake has another treat stuck in it!

Then it was off to rehab where Sarah made me do pushups.  This was another post-injury first for me.  They felt really weird, but it felt good to work the pectorals.  It also felt good to test the wrist.  It hurt, but I don't think I damaged it.

Success!

To finish out PT, Sarah made me do 10 minutes on the hand-bike.  She's a bit of a sadist, but I think it's good for me.  I don't think I've breathed that hard since I got here.

"I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!!!"

Finally, we came back to my room for a haircut.  For those of you who don't know, Titus cuts his own hair, and isn't too bad at cutting other people's hair when he wants to.  So I asked him to do mine, and he obliged.  Here in the hospital, my hair is always dirty, so the longer it is, the nastier it is.  Having it short feels sooooooo good.  I can't even tell you how good.  Here are some pictures of the haircut.

Around dinner time, Titus and Brittany had to leave, and TC showed up with some Taco Bell for dinner.  Again, this is a great way to visit.  This means I didn't have to eat any hospital food after breakfast today.  That alone makes this a pretty good day.  TC stayed until 7:00 or so, but I didn't take any pictures for some reason.  I guess I forgot.  He says he's coming back tomorrow so I'll take some pictures then.

So today was another great day.  I want to write about other stuff, but the last few days have been so fun for me that it's hard to ignore them and write about something else.  But I do have some other articles I've been working on, and they're just about ready to go, so if tomorrow isn't completely awesome, maybe I'll publish one of them then.

Cripple

You're not supposed to call somebody a cripple.  It's not politically correct, and apparently some people find the word offensive.  On the other hand, I'm a cripple now, so I think I'm allowed to say so.

Jimmy!

It was brought to my attention, by someone much wiser than I, that the word 'cripple' is an extremely effective communication device, and that I should make friends with it immediately.  It's the only single word that really expresses my situation concisely and precisely without apologizing for it or making it seem like the user has too much time on their hands.

So in conclusion, I'm going to be using the word 'cripple'.  A lot.  And I don't mind if you use it too.  I don't think it's a dirty word.  It's just a communication tool, and a damn useful one at that.

Thank You

I want to take a minute to thank all the people who read my blog.  I started it as a way to save time communicating my progress to all the people who were interested.  It has become more than that to me over time, and now I write it as much for myself as for the audience, but the truth is: if nobody was listening, I'd probably stop writing.

You heard him

So thanks for taking the time to listen to my thoughts.  It means a lot to me, and it makes me want to keep writing.

Goodness

Today was another good day.  Partly because this is a good place to do rehab, partly because my friends once again made it their business to make sure I had a good day.

The Program was a success again this morning, so that was a great start to the day.

Then, in the afternoon, we went to the hand-cycle clinic.  It was put on by a paraplegic support group from Cary and volunteers from Duke, and it allowed us to try out hand-cycles.  Including myself, three patients from UNC got to go.  I got some decent pictures.  Overall, it was a fun time, and it was REALLY nice to get out of the hospital for a few hours.

Update: 6/2/12 9:45PM

I also got a video: 

After I got back, Andy and Allison, some old friends I haven't seen in several years, stopped by with Rudinos pizza.  Also in attendance were Bert and Kevin to help recreate all the Friday nights we spent at Rudinos many years ago.  There was no beer unfortunately, but I had a great time anyway.

There's PIZZA!

They showed up at 6:00, and Bert and Kevin stayed until 10:30, so that was pretty much my day.  One of the best I think I've had here.  I wish they all could be like this one.