When you look at how ordinary people develop superpowers, it normally involves some combination of medical/surgical modification (Wolverine, Captain America), alien influence (Superman, Green Lantern), and radiation exposure (The Hulk, Spiderman, most of the rest). And so I got to thinking.
The other day, at PT, Emily was trying to stretch my neck out by pulling my head off. She was yanking and twisting pretty hard, yet she was unable to remove my head. That's when I realized my surgery had given me a superpower: my head is unusually well attached to my body.
I didn't say it was a good power or a useful power, but not all superpowers are. Look at Aquaman.
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| "I talk to fish!" |
It has also occurred to me that since I have been in the hospital, they have given me more X-rays than I can count. So I'm starting to look out for other superpowers I might be developing. So far there's no evidence of super-speed or super-strength, but I am constantly on the lookout for those or other, less obvious abilities.
Here is a list of supernatural abilities that I think I may be developing at this time:
- The power to sit in one place for a long period of time
- The power to read the thoughts of canines (they're hungry)
- The power to consume huge quantities of vegetables in a single sitting
I believe that with great power comes great responsibility, and I also believe the world may not be ready to accept my new powers, so I never attempt to use them in public. Especially the vegetable one. It simply would not be appropriate.
I do wonder whether I am alone. If you think modern science has given you a superhuman ability, leave a comment.
I can be thrown up on by my kids and not even gag---awesome and useful :)
ReplyDeleteI can be SUPER annoying, yet still have friends. And I still know how to play (and still own) a Nintendo from the 80's. FYI, I think having a well-attached head is a good power. Imagine if more people didn't have that power...heads would just fly off during wrestling, football, boxing, etc. HKO! (Head Knocked Off)
ReplyDeleteI have the super ability to remember all quotes from the Simpsons seasons 1-6. I have the super power to find poop jokes 10x funnier.
ReplyDeleteI have the same Simpsons power as Bert, remembering lines from episodes that aired 15 years ago, with the added bonus of not being able to remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. Also, if you show me a picture of someone I can tell you what two celebrities procreated to create that person.
ReplyDeleteI've had the therapy where they try to pull your head off. It doesn't feel too badly until they let go and your head springs back down. My superhuman power as the result of medical care to birth 3 babies - eyes grew in the back of my head.
ReplyDeleteA while back my superpower was that I had the strong propensity to always be right... then I got married.
ReplyDeleteAaaand Gus wins the internet!
ReplyDeleteI only need 8 hours of sleep per week.
ReplyDeleteI have a superpower that predates my injury. I must have gotten it while getting my tonsils out or something. I have a superhuman ability to spot nails and screws in the tires of random cars I'm walking past. It happens to me all the time. I rarely do anything about it because I don't want to reveal my secret identity, and because I don't have pen and paper on me at the time.
ReplyDelete