Sorry

Sorry I haven't posted sooner.  I've mentioned to a couple people in the last few days that I really don't like writing about what I did today unless what I did is exceptional.  Listing off my daily routine isn't very interesting to me, and I don't feel like it will be interesting to any of my readers.  Except my mom.

It is also a fact that I have been spending a lot of time lately on the couch.  I like sitting on the couch because it doesn't hurt my butt like sitting in the wheelchair does.  On the couch, I can just relax, be comfortable, and sleep if I feel like it.  I love sitting on the couch.  I'd like to get a new couch.  I learned in rehab that a leather one is nice because it's easy to slide around on.  It needs to be a firm one though.  It can't be one of these soft overstuffed ones.  I don't know if I'd be able to get back off one of those, and sliding around is tough when you sink in.

I don't know where I get a couch like I want.  I looked on craigslist, but all the ones I saw were overstuffed.  I'm not sure how I feel about a used couch anyway.  Unfortunately, going to furniture stores is going to be a pretty big chore for me at this point.

Anyway, once I get on the couch for the evening, it's a lot of work to get back in the wheelchair, so I've been lazy, and haven't been posting to the blog, even when I've got something to write about.  But I do have some stuff to write about from this week just past, so I'll try to get it done this week.  Stay tuned.

Kids

Yesterday, my sister made the trek down from Danville to bring her kids down to see me for the first time since the accident.  I had been wanting to see them, and I figured I've had plenty of other kids in my apartment, so why not them?

They've both gotten a lot bigger since I saw them last, and Kelly is talking in almost complete sentences now.  He's also pronouncing the letter J so he says "Uncle Jace" now instead of "Uncle Dace".  I miss Uncle Dace.

He did specifically ask if I could do upside-down (which he no longer pronounces uppayidesdown), which you may recall was something I was dreading.  I had to bite my lip, but I got through it.  I'm still worried he's going to think I'm boring, but I can only do what I can do.

Georgia is also getting big.  She seems huge, but Jessica says she's only in the 75th percentile height-wise.  She's certainly got more personality than the last time I saw her, and I don't think she screamed once at my place so that's a huge improvement.

Gus and Uyen and Evelyn came over too, and we all went to the playground in my neighborhood.  That was pretty fun.  I learned that pushing a wheelchair in wet mulch is extremely hard work.  That's why I got Kelly to help push me on the way home.

Maybe I can hire him on full-time

Trying to get a group picture with small children is like herding cats

Here's the rest of the pictures from our visit.

I'm very glad they came to visit, but it was exhausting.  Small children always are, even if I'm related.  Tonight, Brian and Kelly made me dinner, and brought over Brayden and Ashton.   Dinner was delicious, but they kids were exhausting.  I need a nap to recover.  I honestly don't know how anyone survives parenting small children 24 hours a day.

Kids love Buddha Bear

Since moving into this apartment, I have spent more time with kids than I have since I was one myself.  It's a bit of an adjustment, but I'd rather have people bring over their kids than not come at all.  It's just something I'll have to get used to I guess.

I Had a Dream

When I was in rehab, I made a decision that I wasn't going to think about walking.  I was going to accept my situation, and concentrate on being the best paraplegic I could be.  I thought that hoping to walk again would be bad for me.  A lot has happened since then, but my strategy remains the same.

Unfortunately, there's a part of my brain that isn't on board with the plan.  The last two nights, I have had very vivid dreams where I could miraculously walk again.  It felt completely real, and the relief at getting my legs back was intoxicating.  When I woke up, reality set back in.  It was incredibly depressing.

I thought I had skipped over the mourning period for what I've lost, but maybe it's still coming.  I hope not, and I hope I don't have to dream about walking for the rest of my life.  I'm not sure I can take it.

When I was in rehab, somebody told me that when you start having dreams where you're in the wheelchair, that's when you've really arrived as a paraplegic.  I'm not really looking forward to those dreams either.  Maybe I can just not dream for the rest of my life...

House For Sale

Thanks to an incredible amount of work by my friends and family, my house finally went on the market this week.  I thought I'd share the pictures I have.

You can also check out the zillow listing.

Lemme know if you want to buy it.  :)

I miss living here

Back to work?

Today I had a call with my manager where we discussed the idea of trying to do a little bit of work.  I would work from home, and I think I'd start out at around 10 hours per week.  I have been told that I can work part time and maintain disability payments based on how many hours I don't work, so I need to figure out how that works in detail this week.

My I still don't know where I'm going to find time in my schedule to do the actual work, but I'm hopeful that will work itself out.  My team is understaffed so they can use my help, and I'd like to help out if I can.  I just hope I can figure out how to work it into my schedule.

Speaking of my schedule, I've been lucky to be very busy with visitors the last couple days.  Yesterday was Sunday, and Cullen and Gus stopped by for lunch after going to my house to finish up a few tasks before it goes on the market.  We had a nice, if brief visit.

A little later that afternoon, Justin showed up.

My buds

We had a really nice visit, and Justin helped me out with a few things I'd been wanting to get done.  Then we had pizza.  I love pizza.

Justin stayed until pretty late and watched some Olympics with me.  Later in the evening, Brian showed up and helped watch Olympics too.  It was a good evening.

Justin helping me watch women's beach volleyball

Today was another busy one.  Bert stopped by for lunch on his way up from Laurinburg to see somebody at IBM today.  He and Gus and Evelyn shared leftover pizza with me.

Mmm... pizza...

And tonight, David and Kristen brought me delicious meatloaf and brownies and kept me company for several hours.  I had a great time, and I even had my first bourbon and coke since the accident.  Mmm... bourbon...

I'm expecting every day this week to be just as busy as today, so it should be a very good week if so.  I'm looking forward to it.

Lucky

Sorry it's been so long since I've written.  Life is getting busier, and it's getting harder to find an hour a day to sit down and write.  I'm also not very proud of the posts where I just list the things I've done that day.  They just seem mundane to me, but the pithier posts take longer to plan and write, and I'm spending a lot less time on my back than I did in the hospital.  There, I had lots of time to just think.

A couple days ago, somebody told me I "deserved some luck", implying that I haven't had any.  I don't mind if people want to think that although I'm not looking for pity from anyone.  I still feel extremely lucky though.  The injury itself was unlucky, but everything that has happened since has been extremely fortunate.

I've talked about my friends a lot already, and everyone is probably tired of hearing about them already, but I could still not be more grateful to them for the support they've given me.  Even with the HO and no family in the area, I'm still able to live alone with no other assistance apart from my friends.  I can't imagine who else in my position could do that.

So I feel very lucky, and I feel it's important not to start thinking I "deserve" anything.  As soon as you start thinking you deserve something, there can be only two results: bitterness if you don't get it or lack of gratitude if you do.

Here's what else has been going on:

• Several dinner guests
• Kids in my apartment
• A trip downtown with Gus
• Several delicious lunches
• Drinks in my apartment with friends
• Some time on the couch

Watching the Olympics instead of blogging

Justin is coming over tomorrow for the afternoon/evening, so that should be fun.  Haven't seen him since the hospital, so I'm looking forward to that.

Vantastic

Yesterday was so busy I didn't have a chance to write about it, but I'm going to do so now.  It was a great day, devoted mostly to getting my van ready for the road.

Gus came over around 10:00, and we started by going to his mechanic to get the van inspected.  We put Evelyn's car seat in the back, and set off.  We picked up lunch on the way over and ate it in the van while they did the inspection.  I had a BBQ sandwich with mac & cheese and baked beans from Dixie Belle's.  It was pretty good.

Waiting for my lunch

After the inspection, we had to go to the DMV to get the van registered.  Evelyn passed out on the drive over.  Probably wore herself out asking "Why" questions.

Out cold

 
Considering that there's only one license place office for all of southern Wake County, the line was surprisingly short.  The notoriously surly DMV workers were also surprisingly friendly after Evelyn did a little tap dance for them.

Patience is still a virtue

The DMV went so quickly, we had time to go to Target for some grocery shopping.

Evelyn and me in the Men's section

In the evening, Titus and Brittany came down for Sushi, and I talked Titus into fixing the driver side power window.  Titus is really good at fixing power windows, so he agreed, and we took the van over to Gus's house to work on it.  One of my other friends decided to ride over with us.

Titus, Buddha, and me

Titus works his magic

I had a good time hanging out in Gus's garage and supervising.

Good job

I really enjoyed getting out of my apartment and going places yesterday.  It's just what I was hoping the van would do for me.  I got to go four different places and didn't have to do a single car transfer.  I still couldn't be more pleased with my purchase.

Now the van is road legal, and the window works.  The only thing left to do is put some new tires on it, but they are all holding air right now, so that can wait.