Grumpalupagus

That's Emily's word.  She calls me that when I'm in a bad mood.  Unfortunately, today I was a bit of a Grumpalupagus.

Grumpalupagus?

I don't like being in a bad mood.  I don't think people should have to put up with me when I'm in one, but I was in a sour mood all day, and you can't hide from people when you're in rehab.  I've been trying to figure out what my problem is all day.  I think it's a combination of a two things.

1.) They are backing off my morphine dosage.  I've been on a small amount of slow-release morphine since I got here.  I didn't think it was doing anything, but today I got half the dose, and I was exceptionally sore all day.  Every part of my body that feels anything feels pain right now.  Coincidence?  Probably not.  And I need to be all the way off the morphine by the time I leave.

2.) The fact that I'm leaving soon is becoming real to me.  The visit to my apartment has made me think about it more, and how hard it's going to be living without supervision.  This morning, I tried to sit up in bed without using the rails on the hospital bed, just to prove I could.  I failed miserably.  There was just too much pain and stiffness first thing in the morning.  Then I used the bed rails to cheat.  When I get home, there will be no cheating.  Either I get up, or I don't.  I hope my surgery stops hurting one day.  That would make life a lot easier.

Speaking of my surgery, I finally had Emily show me some of my x-rays today.  You can see the rods and the screws.  There are basically two rigid rods, one on either side of my spine, and long screws attaching each rod to each vertebrae.  The screws look like they might be almost two inches long, so that was exciting.  I'll post a picture here when I can get one.

I think the highlight of my day today was Emily telling a PT student from Duke that I was a model patient because of all the stuff I was able to do.  It made me feel good in the midst of my crappy day.  Then she made me do simulated floor transfers for 30 minutes.  I thought my arms were going to fall off.

Tomorrow should be a better day.  My sister is supposed to visit.  Also, Courtney has masterminded a trip out to Franklin Street.  I think they're going to make me push my wheelchair all the way there and back.  If they do, I suspect my arms will actually fall off.